Big Foot

Watching National Geographic, the History channel etc. have become much cooler now having HDTV. I'm really catching up on my UFO and mysterious monster topics. I recently heard a comic (Bill Burr I think) make the point that if UFO's can fly from other galaxies to investigate us in these other worldly futuristic flying crafts why do they need lights. I thought that was a very funny and accurate question.

I've been fascinated/scared by Bigfoot since childhood when Leonard Nimoy introduced me to him on his show "In Search Of..." I remember running home at night from neighbors houses convinced that somehow Bigfoot lived in Wallingford, Pa. and he was stalking me.

But every few years a "new" monster hits the papers. We now have the Chupacabra, the Arkansas Ape-Man, the Honey Island Swamp Monster. What do these new monsters have in common, besides the fact that they all know where you live and won't hesitate to catch a plane to your house and rip your heart out? They have cool scary monster names! Even some of the OG monsters have cool names like the Loch Ness MONSTER, the ABOMINABLE snowman, The Jersey DEVIL, CHAMPY (alright forget Champy). But you get the idea.

Bigfoot needs to hire a new PR firm, or image consultant to get him up to date. The days of being scared by someone with a really big foot are over. Shaq wears a 22 shoe, the only time he makes people run is when he's in a movie. Even Sasquatch didn't really work for him, it's too close the harmless veggie squash.

Does anyone have any good ideas for our 8' stinky, hairy, friend?

Years ago I was looking for a funny picture for a cd cover so I naturally picked up a National Enquirer for fodder and be still my beating heart. Who was on the cover? BIGFOOT! I screamed in horror while checking out at the Stop & Shop. But you know it wasn't scary, in fact it was kinda hot. Check out what the lady Bigfoots have been up to lately.......